"Welcome to the Jungle" and first impressions of Samba land

First of all, thank you to all of you for your messages of support for my transfer to Brazil! :-)

Somehow, as soon as I started saying that “Brazil” might be on the cards for my next assignment, people’s eyes just lit up. The effect seems to be a bit of a combination of the unhinged exhilaration you might get when France scores an equaliser in the fourth minute of extra time against Spain (and if you’re French, naturally), and the pang of envy you feel when you see photos of friends’ trips to the Seychelles, Maldives, or wherever else you fancy people go.

Where I am NOT living

Having just spent a week in Sao Paulo, I can imagine that most people’s perception of Brazil is probably NOT based on Sao Paulo however. Apologies Paulistanos, but I’d rather be upfront so that anyone who visits this city knows what to expect. Your mind picture of Brazil is probably triggered by images of the beach in Copacabana, ladies dancing the samba, or random clips of Pele dancing on the football pitch. That is, unless images of traffic jams, sky scrapers, and heightened security is what makes you grin cheekily in jealous anticipation. No? I thought not.

Where I AM living

So of course, I have literally seen nothing of this city, but hey, I am not writing the next Lonely Planet intro to Sampa (short for Sao Paulo, obviously). I just wanted to share a couple of insights of my first few days here because many of you have been asking for news. And of course the vast majority haven’t been asking and couldn't care less, but hey, if you've read this far, then I'm onto a winner. And it’s either reading this or the latest analysis on the US election, which while much better for dinner table chat in the coming weeks, may also lead to collective yawns. So, on we go.

First realisation: this city is massive, the largest city in the southern hemisphere and in the Americas, and the world's seventh largest city by population with around 20 million brave souls in greater SP. The middle class has apparently grown so fast in recent years that the typical pyramid structure of socio-economic classes has bulged out to form a diamond, with this “Class C” representing more than 50% of the population already. What this means is that – whether you like it or not – you are very quickly hit by traffic congestion as more and more people can afford cars (on two year credits, but still). Locals so far have actually been somewhat apologetic about the nightmare of the city, as one of my colleagues said with a massive grin: “welcome to the jungle”. So a jungle it is. If you are lucky and your flight arrives outside of peak hours, then you might be able to avoid it. I arrived on a bank holiday, which was a complete fluke, but meant that I arrived in my new home / flat reasonably quickly. Bonus.

I am staying with family friends who have recently moved to SP to start up a new company, and who have kindly agreed to sublet a maisonette at the end of their garden. It was originally designed as the housekeeper’s quarters, but it’s been decorated and furnished really nicely by my lovely hosts so within a couple of hours I already felt very much at home. It is also in a super nice location in the Jardim Paulista neighbourhood. So all in all, I am extremely happy not to have followed HR’s advice to stay by the office which is 30km out of town.

Somewhere in that jungle is my new home

Living in SP rather than by the office has meant that I have had to rent a car, which has been an interesting adventure in itself. This is not the sort of city where you just randomly take the car out for a spin without knowing where you are going so I managed after a few days to get hold of a GPS and the experience of purchasing it was legendary in itself… I went into a mall by the office at lunchtime, and as none of the salesmen spoke English or Spanish, and I couldn't understand the difference between three different models of GPS, four salesmen provided a helping hand via Google Translate to explain the main difference: voice recognition. I couldn't explain that I very much doubted my Portuguese accent could be understood by anyone, let alone a trained device, but in any case, they didn't need any further confirmation that I was an alien.  So the second realisation has been one relating to language… While most people at work speak English, they only do so if they have to, and for the moment 2 out of my 3 meetings in larger groups were entirely in Portuguese. I understood more than I expected (thanks Marilia!!) but there is still a long way to go before I can contribute in such settings.

Working on the 2014 World Cup Team... bliss!!!

After traffic and language, the third and final realisation so far is that relationships matter in this country. People are generally extremely friendly, people kiss to greet each other at work (I know we do that in France, but not when you first meet someone in a professional context, unless it is a DSK-type context). There is a very entertaining greeting exchange process which is much more developed than the usual “Hello”, followed by the equally original response of “hello” in the English speaking world. It goes something like this, and happens approximately 68 times a day, each time you encounter someone:

“Bom dia! Tudo bem?”

“Tudo bem. E você?”

 “Tudo joia / Tudo beleza / Tudo legal”

And as far as the relationships go, I am extremely lucky to have wonderful hosts at home, the lovely Nazia & Joel in the hood, as well as the INSEAD crew who have all provided fantastic introductions to this insane jungle. 

Tall people, tulip mania, tolerance...

...and other reasons why living in the Netherlands is mighty fly 

I was walking through Amsterdam a few days ago and it suddenly struck me: it should be illegal for any nation to be this tall. It just makes the rest of us wee ones feel inadequate. The few Dutch friends I knew prior to moving to the Netherlands were pretty darn tall, but it is only after spending a few months here that I have started to understand how this nation can get away with calling mini-golf “midget golf” (no joke). 

A bike and mucho cheese: what else
does anyone need in life?

Firstly, their diet seems to be approximately 93% based on dairy products. I mean they drink milk ALL THE TIME: over breakfast, lunch and dinner, at home, during business meetings, and I reckon they are trying to put France to shame through their consumption of cheese. These folks are pragmatic though, they don’t deal with runny stinky cheeses, they go for the semi-hard Gouda or Edam cheeses which come in round cheese wheels. So just in case the nation’s healthy obsession with cycling wanes, they can always just ride around on cheese wheels. Just a thought.

The heyday of Dutch football with Johan
Cruijff and outfits as well as haircuts
that were apparently tolerated in the 80s

The other - perhaps marginally more dull - reason they are so tall is apparently that there is a fairly even distribution of wealth in the Netherlands so everyone has access to decent health care. I know, I can hear you yawning already. But bear with me: wealth is an important characteristic of this nation as the Dutch are commercial down to the bone and always have been. You could be forgiven for writing the country off. After all, none of its football clubs has won the Champions League since Ajax in the mid 90s, they lost to Spain in the 2010 World Cup final (curse of the wrong kit sponsor, no doubt), and the nation will be one of the first wiped off the world map when the ice cap melts. But not so fast.

Tulip mania

This is the home of early modern Europe’s wealthiest trading city, the first full time stock exchange, and the world’s first recorded financial bubble... due to tulips, no less. You think we’re in a crisis, now rewind back to 1637, when a single tulip bulb cost up to ten times a craftsman’s annual income. Now there, when they do things, the Dutchies don’t go halfway. 

Flash forward to 2012, people here are so commercial that most actually speak fluent English (at least in the larger cities). Broadcasting soap operas and movies in English may have something to do with their fluency, but I can assure you it’s not just because of Gossip Girl. The Dutch are multilingual because they know few people will make the effort to learn their expressive but guttural language, and if they want to be successful in business, they need to speak foreign languages. Most pupils therefore have to learn English, French and German in school, and parents seem to think that it’s perfectly normal to drive their campervans 1,200 kilometers to the Italian or French riviera every summer...



Flypast of canal in red light district

The country’s openness to other countries is also evident in its permissive and tolerant culture at home. And by this, I am not only talking about the colourful Red Light District or the lenient drugs policy. As an aside, all drugs are actually forbidden in the Netherlands. The government just has a policy of non-enforcement that tolerates people smoking cannabis inside coffee shops. And Dutch people don’t smoke. That’s left for drunken tourists on stag weekends.

Perhaps a more revealing historical insight into Dutch tolerance is exemplified by the fact that at the height of the Protestant Reformation, when Catholic public mass was strictly forbidden, the Dutch allowed Catholics to build a hidden church on the top floor of a canal home to hold regular mass. So it’s not perchance that John Lennon and Yoko Ono chose the Amsterdam Hilton Hotel to kick-off their one week “bed-in” honeymoon to promote peace in 1969. As long as you respect the law (or at least its more practical daily interpretations), you can pretty much do as you please here.

But don’t think that this is a country that is all about peace & love and which sits on the fence in all circumstances either. The Netherlands proclaimed neutrality in both World Wars, but was notable for not turning a blind eye when the Jews were brutally arrested and deported from Amsterdam in February 1941. I think I am correct in saying that it was the only nation that actually went on a general strike in response to the Jewish deportation, a strike that was unfortunately suppressed by the Germans three days later, but a public strike nonetheless. 



Bloemendaal beach

So it is not too surprising that the Dutch are very proud of their nation. If you are not convinced with the reasons highlighted above, perhaps you will agree with me that endless admiration should be bestowed upon anyone who can wear orange in a way that puts Easyjet crew members to shame?! Oh, and they even have beaches. You have six weeks left to visit, and no, there is no way a beach outing is on the cards now. There are thundery showers and it is a mighty fine 13C.

You know you've been to INSEAD when...

... the following seems 'normal':
 

Highway in Pangkil

• Spending the weekend on a private island
• Going to the restaurant with 45 close friends
• Heading out for drinks at 1am
• Ordering 6 litre Belvedere bottles
• Bain makes you think of pool parties
• The Dash isn't a punctuation mark
• Heritage doesn't make you think of tradition or culture
• Dover doesn't make you think of the White Cliffs



Home or Chateau. You choose.

• You cannot say “can” without adding “la”
• Everything “Makes Sens”
• You cannot pronounce “leverage” without grinning stupidly and/or raising your eyebrows (try this at home)
• A “lifer” doesn't refer to jail term
• Home and chateau sometimes feel synonymous
• You think of countries through national weeks
• You have the same ugly t-shirt in approximately 18 different colours
• You own a pair of Ray-Bans (Thai replicas preferable)



A quiet weekend in Seville

• You “like” many things and have doubled your “friend” count in 10 months
• Performing in a cabaret seems like a loooong time ago
• You are physically incapable of sitting still when hearing certain songs 
• The club certainly can’t handle you right now
• Hearing the Waka Waka makes you think of a flash dance (what World Cup?)
• You check out the driver of any car with a red number plate
• You book flights the day before flying 
• You have owned and lost more flip flops, sunglasses and phones in one year than the rest of your life put together 

  

  A future in politics? Impossible.

  
• You've accumulated random small change from an assortment of exotic foreign countries
• You already have multiple travel plans for 2012 and beyond, and you have a travel toiletry bag permanently on ‘standby’
• Your parents never know for sure which you’re country you’re spending your weekend in
• Your hard drive has no space due to multiple photos and videos
• You will never be able to pursue a career in politics
• You have endless “to do” lists
• One week feels like one month
• You’re still asking yourself whether the bubble will ever burst...

What else peeps, what have I forgotten?! :-)

So what on earth have I learned?

INSIDE & OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM

Never cutting corners in REP

• The definition of multi-lingual (fluency in anything below four languages doesn't really qualify)
• The feeling of monsoon rain (think bucket thrown over your head)
• That it is physically possible to live off street food served on yellow plastic chairs (for six months)
• That BORs* can be just as wild as wild boars
• That cutting corners is sometimes a necessary evil
• That we all suffer from overconfidence (yes, including me & you)
• That excellent professors can make the dullest course inspiring

Snowy Vicky recharging the batteries

• That most Germans are actually very methodical and rigorous (including Chalmo)
• That most Mediterraneans have a loose interpretation of what “on time” means (Jose, you didn't really think you were going to get away with it, did you?!)
• That behind every serious banker and consultant lies a party animal in hiding (Meik?)
• That dodgy names usually hide dodgy venues (Four floors and Findlaters)
• That FOMO** drastically increases average waking hours
• That recovery sleep can be done at any time of day or night (special mention to Luc-Vincent in A2)
• That commitment and alcohol are not good friends
• That yellow fever is not just an acute viral haemorrhagic disease (sorry, it had to be done :-P)
• That certain individuals really can make a difference in a group
• That many people find it hard to follow their dreams
• That ‘active non-directive’ listening is practically impossible
• That it never hurts to say thank you
• That one doesn't say “I love you” often enough to those that count, so there, I LOVE YOU!!!

...AND CHERRY-PICKED QUOTES

Organisational Behaviour 1 (OB1)

Emotional intelligence may be the key attribute that distinguishes outstanding performers from those that are merely adequate

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.

Organisational Behaviour 2 (OB2)

The fact is culture eats strategy for lunch. You can have a good strategy in place, but if you don't have the culture that allows you to successfully implement that strategy ... the culture of the organization will defeat the strategy

Entrepreneurial Leadership (EL)

Radical innovation cannot be achieved without unconditional respect for creative minds

The bottle is half-full

Building Businesses in the Silicon Valley (BBSV)

Having nothing to lose makes the weak strong

Any idiot can give a punch. Strength is the ability to take a punch (and keep standing)

Leadership is not about knowing all the answers. It’s all about having enough credibility for people to follow you in your way to finding the answers

Quick and dirty is never quick and almost always dirty

If not now, when? 


* BOR: Break Out Room
** FOMO: Fear of Missing Out

My INSEAD in numbers




"Can we throw her out?"

• 10 months
• 2 campuses
• 498 fellow students
• 84 nationalities
• 1 section A2
• 1 group 8
• 5 periods
• 13 core courses



Dashing outfits in Singy

• 13 electives (incl. 5 minis)  
• 3 exams (13 individual papers)
• 9 house/flat mates
• 9 pet animals (3 dogs, 5 swans, 1 fat cat)
• c. 15 wild animals spotted in Fontainebleau (incl. deers, wild boars, foxes, rabbits, and a camel, don't ask)
• 1 wild Dash 
• 2 Bain & co parties



Outdoor amphi in Fonty

• 1 phone lost
• 1 BCG Olympics
• 1 basketball tournament won (IESE Spring Games)
• 1 Cabaret appearance 
• 10 National weeks
• 2 National week bidding nights
• 14 countries visited
• 1 legendary trip to Sevilla
• 1 weekend on Pangkil's private island



Rockin' it Fat Cat style

• 1 dream job
• 1 best year of my life

INSEAD 11J: An Epic Year

Bintan, Indonesia: First weekend, Singy style

As Guinness so brilliantly puts it, 'good things come to those who wait', and as many of you (i.e. 3 kind souls) have nagged me to get my act together and write a summary of my INSEAD experience, I thought I’d better get started before you lose interest entirely, simply remember this year as one which I spent nagging you with annoying Facebook updates and debaucherous photos, and / or start developing an unhealthy addiction to Guinness.

Lebanon: Last official INSEAD trip (until the next one)

So I've delayed writing for days, weeks and even months because I've never known where to start: at the beginning, at the end, somewhere in the middle? Two weeks post graduation, in Beirut with the usual eclectic mix of 20-odd INSEAD folks, I finally understood: there is no finality to the INSEAD experience. It’s such an overwhelming adventure that you’re left permanently changed, with life-long friendships, a different view of people around you, and a truck load of memories from all corners of the globe.

If Tom were an INSEAD alum

I've often likened the experience of the past 10 months to travelling on a high speed train, which you latch onto for a crazy ride, before being thrown off  when you no longer have the strength to hold on, compelling you to rest before you can even conceive of jumping back on. The experience is unique precisely because everyone jumps on and off this bandwagon at different times, thus taking away different things from the ride. There are those who come here to work, those that come here to play and the vast majority who end up practising a healthy combination of work and play (let’s just say I wasn't in the first category).

You've probably heard enough from me about the 'play' side of things, so how about the work?! Well the most common questions I’ve heard over the past year include the following gems: “What is your MBA in?” (which tops the list of the most frustrating questions out there), “Did you actually do any work?” (a resounding yes), and “what did you learn?” (how long have you got for me to explain?!).

Class of 11J @ Graduation

As I’ve discovered that we all have short attention spans, I'll be responding to these questions in three parts (apparently we also like lists with 3 items... don’t ask me why): 

(i) 'My INSEAD in numbers'

(ii) 'So what on earth have I learned'

(iii) 'You know you've been to INSEAD when...'

So keep your eyes peeled! I won’t try to claim that my experience is representative but hopefully it rings a few bells for those of you from 11J that I've had the privilege to share this year with. Thanks to all of you!

And for those of you who endured the experience from outside the 'bubble'... thanks for your endless support. I love you all very much!

What Color is My Parachute?

Who hasn't at one time in their adult life had to do a bit of career self-reflection? Unless you happen to have inherited stupendous amounts of money - and are quite happy to spend the rest of your life spending money you haven't earned - I assume you've probably been in a similar situation to me right now. I've just started my MBA so it's finally an opportunity to take a blank sheet of paper and think of what I really want to do next with my life!

I've NOT known what I wanted to do a few times already: when I was choosing what subject to study at university, what type of internship to apply for, what career move to make once I knew that investment banking wasn't my kettle of fish... So on the surface this is no different. But it's a thin surface because as soon as I start digging, I realise that for this to work, for me to really choose the right career at this junction, my approach has to be radically different.

Is the World really my oyster?!

I have the luxury of not having any geographical or family constraints, and genuinely not being overly driven by money (anyone who's worked for Virgin will understand this!). So I have to throw all pre-conceptions out the window, and be as open-minded about all the opportunities and learnings of an INSEAD experience.

As the MBA programme lasts only 10 months, the careers team suggested that we do a bit of self-reflection ahead of joining. And whilst past experiences (both in school and at university) have instilled a fairly unequivocal disregard for the added-value of careers teams  up to now, I was quite impressed the INSEAD careers crew during the Open Day so I therefore paid close attention to the links which they sent us. 

The first was an on-line multiple choice test, called 'Career Leader', which generates a Professional Report revealing one's core interests, motivations, career aspirations, strengths and weaknesses, etc. I'm not usually a strong believer of such tests so I was absolutely dumb-struck when I started reading the computer-generated report an hour later. Unfortunately you need a login and password to take the test so you'll have to take my word for it, but it described me better than I could have done myself - and probably better than both my parents could have as well (hats off to Director of Harvard Business School's MBA Careers who developed the test!). 

There were a few things which were out of sync, but clearly for a reason. I particularly laughed at the top 5 career path matches, which, in order of appearance, were (drum roll please):

1. Private Equity investment

2. Venture Capital

3. Sales management

4. Investment management

5. Investment banking

Sigh, sigh, and sigh again.

Who knows, I may have to eat my words if I end up back in London working in finance, but my little finger tells me that the likelihood of that is low. Thankfully my bottom match was Accounting which I was quite pleased about actually... nothing like a piece of paper confirming one's lack of interest in something!

The second notable link we were sent was to a video by Randy Pausch, a professor of computer science and virtual reality at Carnegie Mellon University, who learned that he was terminally ill with pancreatic cancer, a terminal illness, in September 2006. He gave an upbeat lecture entitled 'The Last Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams' which became a popular video on YouTube. 

Randy Pausch's Last Lecture at Carnegie Mellon

I'm not 100% convinced that I know quite yet how to achieve my childhood dreams, but it's an inspiring life story, and it's certainly made me joggle my memory to recall my childhood ambitions. The first one I recall was one when I was very young and proclaimed to whoever wanted to hear that I wanted to become a baker (I loved French patisseries - some things never change). The other one was that I wanted to become a professional athlete. However, I soon realised that I was pretty average at baking and only marginally above average in sports! 

Whilst I've tried to curb my love of French patisseries since, the passion for sport still remains intact today. In fact, I'll never forget a discussion I had in my first week of university. I mentioned to a friend that I was really interested in careers in sport - anything from sports commentating to organising events - and she responded, in a visible state of shock: 'You have come to Oxford in order to become a SPORTS commentator?!!!'. Well, she did have a point, sport is hardly the most intellectual of disciplines on the surface, but like anything, in order to be exceptional in the world of sport, it requires the same sort of core skills as in any other aspect of life: knowing your own strengths and weaknesses, setting clear goals, being passionate, surrounding yourself with the right people, working hard, taking risks, etc.

 

And on that note, Pausch spends much of his lecture talking about ambition and the 'brick walls' which can sometimes complicate the realisation of ones dreams:

"Remember, brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people."

Plan B?

This video instantly reminded me of J.K. Rowling's commencement address to Harvard Graduates entitled 'The Fringe Benefits of Failure', which is equally inspiring and well worth viewing if you haven't already: 

J.K. Rowling Commencement Address to Harvard Graduates

As the title suggests, Rowling suggests that failing can  actually be hugely beneficial, even if it may not seem that way at the time.

"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default."

So whilst today I can confirm that I am neither a baker, nor a professional athlete, I'm more than ever prepared to challenge myself and take risks. And if all else fails, I know there's always Plan B of throwing on my evening wear and becoming Superwoman.